


Bite the Hand

by Elentari07



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Avenger Tower, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Kissing, Nipple Play, Oral Sex - Female Receiving, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smut, The Avengers - Freeform, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 13:35:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7759798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elentari07/pseuds/Elentari07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine Bucky handing you a weapon every time you’re in the same room...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bite the Hand

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I kept seeing a theory circulate regarding the scene in CA:TWS where Bucky is waiting for Pierce in his kitchen and the gun sitting on the table. Of course, now that I’ve written this I can’t find the link to the theory anywhere but you may have stumbled across it yourself and know where I’m going with this…  
> I’m also incapable of writing porn without any plot it seems… Or without the angst and the feels.

It took months to figure out something was wrong. For the longest time your relationship was predicated on your responsibilities with the Avengers. Either you were coming from or going to your most recent missions and weapons just always happened to be in the picture. You knew Bucky was still recovering from his time with HYDRA, knew that it would take years to undo the damage done. You never questioned that Bucky always carried some form of gun or knife on him at all times. Never batted an eye when you and Bucky snuggled on the couch and he’d place said weapon on the coffee table within reach…

But once you noticed it, it couldn’t be unseen. Stumbling in from another rough night, stripping away the layers of dirt, grime, and gear, Bucky would methodically remove every dagger, every pistol, until a single handgun or knife remained near his hip. This one he would not put away, but place between you and him, always, always with the handle pointed towards you... 

The ritualized nature of this is what originally caught your eye. The day he had to fumble the weapon for a minute to ensure the handle pointed towards you made it perfectly clear that this act was deliberate. Almost as if Bucky was frustrated he didn’t fluidly place the weapon in front of you, he seemed to subconsciously scoot the gun a few inches closer to you than usual. Completely baffled by the exchange, you decided to stay quiet. But now you were watching…

Nothing ever changed. Even on the off day that there was nothing to do in the tower, Bucky had a weapon. And if you were near, the weapon was on a table, handle pointed in your direction. One day, you came into the kitchen to see Steve and Bucky demolishing a pizza. They were laughing and horsing around with one another. They seemed so carefree, and your heart soared to see Bucky on one of his good days. But that joy took a small step back when you noticed the knife, handle pointed to Steve.

Slowly but surely a picture began to form. A picture you were not happy with. HYDRA had called Bucky an asset. HYDRA had given Bucky handlers. Bucky was the fist of HYDRA. HYDRA knew Bucky was dangerous and they knew he tended to rebel. Bucky was kept in cryo more than any other Winter Soldier. If he spent any significant time outside of cryo he started to remember. His mind was incredible, the records had said. He was the greatest asset HYDRA had, but there was a price to his extraordinary persona. What made him incredible also made him dangerous, even to HYDRA.

You knew all of this. Had read the files completely and knew every detail of Bucky’s captivity and career as the Winter Soldier. Hell, after you started dating, and he wanted you to read everything, you may now know more than Bucky himself at this point. You knew about the triggers. All of them. You knew Spudnik use to put Bucky to sleep. Knew that Wanda had spent countless hours going through all the potential triggers that made Bucky fear going to sleep at night and slowly but surely unwound them all. Bucky still had nightmares, was still skittish in large crowds, and hated meeting new people, but at least his mind was his own. But then you noticed this pattern. These handles, pointing towards you, towards Steve, towards Nat. And you worried…

It was so subtle no one else noticed. But your relationship with the recovering hero was deep, intimate, and you could no longer consider this a coincidence. You had begun to think of Bucky beyond the ideas of friend, lover, or even boyfriend. Such terms as “love of your life” and “soulmate” seemed to fit better. You loved him. You knew it. Even on the days that his mind wandered down dark paths. When he woke screaming your name in terror and pushed you away as a result. You still knew this was it for you. So you knew you had to approach this discovery lightly with him. Knew he might not handle your observations well. It was a delicate procedure but you knew you could help him. Slowly. Cautiously…

Of course that all went out the window when you walked into the most recent mission debriefing…

Bucky had been cleared to go on missions months ago. His participation was at an at-will basis. Sometimes he felt up to it, sometimes he didn’t. This particular mission had been primarily stealth and observation and Bucky had no problem going. Stealth was one of the Winter Soldier's specialities and Bucky tended to lean towards the nonviolent missions so this was perfect. Bucky wanted to feel needed, not like he was a burden for the team. So he tried to help when he could. When he felt comfortable.

This particular mission was a little outside of the Avenger’s wheelhouse. It was the FBI that had requested backup and so the debriefing happened with some of the FBI’s agents. Special Agent Frederick was the point person so she led the debriefing. You didn’t know a lot about the FBI or its agents, but you did know that Frederick was a bit of a loose cannon and tended to shoot first and ask questions later. You also knew that Frederick had several close friends in Washington that did not support the Avengers and other such “vigilante crusaders” as they called them. Several of these friends had fought quite fiercely to keep Bucky locked up forever after what HYDRA did to him. Fury had reasoned that this particular mission may be a goodwill gesture between the two organizations. Perhaps it could try to get the FBI to see the good in Bucky. Bucky had agreed and so had you, but only if you could come too. Bucky would fight tooth and nail to protect you, but those particular feelings go both ways. And right now you would be happy to slit some FBI throats if it meant keeping Bucky safe.

You had been sidetracked slightly by Tony excitedly showing you some new tech for your suit so you were a few minutes late to your debriefing. When you entered the conference room, only Bucky and Frederick were there. Frederick was at the front of the table, getting her report in order and firing up the projector. Bucky had sat a few seats from the front of the table to Frederick’s right. He seemed relatively relaxed and they appeared to be chatting about music. However, any good feelings you had regarding the duo’s small talk, instantly turned to ice when you saw the gun sitting on the table, pushed slightly away from Bucky, handle pointed towards Frederick…

“I just don’t understand. First, they’re called the Black Eyed Peas? And then, what’s a Boom Boom Pow - “

“BUCKY!” You interrupted the conversation harshly. Both Frederick and Bucky looked up in surprise. “What the hell are you doing?” You rushed to place yourself between Bucky and Frederick and quickly slid the gun from the table, noting the safety was off, before clicking it on, and shoved it into your pants. All the color drained from Bucky’s face and he softly began muttering in Russian.

“Agent YLN?” Frederick questioned.

“I’m sorry, Agent, but this debriefing will have to be rescheduled.” You quickly tugged Bucky’s arm towards the door and he haltingly followed.

[“The asset will protect its handlers. The asset will ensure its handlers are protected from the asset.”] The muttering continued in Russian. You had learned Russian shortly after your relationship with Bucky began and now you were so, so grateful for the lessons Nat gave you.

“Alright baby, just a little further.” You spoke to Bucky in soft voices and gently guided him into a waiting elevator. Quickly pushing the button to your shared floor, you continued to maintain physical contact and speak softly. “I’m sorry baby, I’m so so sorry for triggering you. I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but we’ll figure this out together.” You knew that Bucky couldn’t really hear you right now, but you also knew the gentle cadence of your voice helped.

You felt a little adrift. While Bucky’s triggers were nothing new to you, this submissive, docile reaction was. All of this was adding up to a terrifying picture and right now all you wanted to do was get Bucky to your shared apartment and work through this together.

“Here we go.” You coaxed Bucky out of the lift and into your living room, gently seating him on the couch. Bucky still followed you without resistance and this was truly new territory.

Sitting on the coffee table directly across from Bucky, you took a deep breath and looked at Bucky’s face.

“Soldier!” Instantly, Bucky’s eyes shot up and met yours. Now that you had his attention, you reached out and grasped both his wrists in both your hands. You applied steady, even pressure on his pulse points, noting the thundering rhythm in the right hand.

“You are Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th Infantry Regime, Serial Number 32557038. Friends call you Bucky. Steve Rogers is your best friend. And…” You hesitated. Generally at this point the mantra begins anew. Working with Bruce, you and Bucky had come up with his very own lullaby to help lull the soldier should it ever reappear. The two times you had tried it in the past it had worked perfectly. Just like Nat seemed to be the only member of the team to soothe the Hulk, Bucky responded best when you repeated the words. Over and over again, you would supply these vital points of Bucky’s life to his broken mind. And slowly but surely it would bring him out every time. This time however, you wanted to add something more to the mantra. Ignoring your feelings for a while you repeated the lines over and over again until Bucky’s tremors stopped. “You are Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th Infantry Regime, Serial Number 32557038. Friends call you Bucky. Steve Rogers is your best friend.”

Bucky’s shoulder began to relax, his eyes, still fixed on you, began to search your face, as if looking for answers. Tears were welling in your eyes. Generally the lullaby took about four or five passes to take effect and Bucky would slump into unconsciousness. But on and on you went and Bucky remained awake, seeming unable to recognize you. “Please.” You whispered. “You are Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th Infantry Regime, Serial Number 32557038. Friends call you Bucky. Steve Rogers is your best friend. And -” You hesitated again. You’d never said these words to him, to anyone. But right now, they seemed so important. “And I love you.” Your voice trailed off.

At that, consciousness snapped back to Bucky’s features. “Y/N?” His voice was raspy as if from disuse.

You gave him a weak smile, eyes wet.

“Y/N what the hell?” Bucky exclaimed, voice raising. “Here I am actually making small talk for once, and you barge in screaming at me?” His voice raised in a question. “I don’t get it. What’s your problem?”

“My problem?” You felt all the emotion leave you. “My problem is that you are constantly putting yourself in danger for no damn reason! My problem is that you seem perfectly fine sacrificing your life at any given moment and worst of all? I’m not even sure you know you’re doing it!”

“Wha - What?” Bucky stuttered into speechlessness.

“The gun, Bucky!” You screamed, pulling the weapon in question from your pants and brandishing it in front of him before tossing it gently on the nearest chair. “The weapons you constantly, constantly leave with their handles pointing towards anyone else in the room. Like anyone should have the opportunity to shoot you at will.” Your heart stopped. Now you’ve done it.

“Y/N…Wha- ? I don’t even know…” You could tell Bucky was struggling through a myriad of emotions.

“Buck I’m sorry!” You exclaimed, not knowing what had come over you. “I didn’t mean it like that. I know this has to be unintentional.”

“HYDRA Override,” Bucky muttered as if speaking to himself. “The asset is to always leave a weapon within the grasp of its handlers in case the asset has to be put down for any reason.”

“Bucky” You whispered, tears beginning anew. “I figured that was what this was about. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” Your hands which had crossed over your chest when the yelling began now flew back to his arms. “I meant to slowly breach the subject with you. Try to work through the issue together, but then I saw you leave the gun within easy access of her. Buck, you know Frederick would just as easily shoot you as shake your hand. I was just so damn scared.”

“That’s not what did it.” Bucky corrected. “You could have yelled until the cows came home, but when you picked up the gun, that’s when the protocol kicked in. The asset basically goes limp to allow the handlers to shoot it.”

“Him” you corrected mindlessly. “I mean you, I mean - oh god…” Tears now streamed freely down your cheeks.

“Doesn’t matter.” Bucky bit out scornfully. “They always thought of the asset as an object, as a weapon. But that’s not the point, Y/N! How long have you known about this? I had no fucking clue I was literally handing anyone I was around a loaded weapon. Why didn’t you do anything sooner?”

“Because I didn’t fully understand what was happening until very recently!” You protested. “I just thought you needed a weapon close by to feel safe. It took forever to see any warning signs and by then you were so fully engrossed in the ritual, I didn’t know how to safely break it! Look at today! I just touched the gun and that’s what it took!”

“Shit” Bucky exhaled. “Why do you put up with this, Y/N?”

“Why? Why?!?” Your voice rose into near hysterics. “Because I love you you idiot!”

The silence that followed was deafening.

“I’m sorry,” You faltered. “I know that’s too much too soon. You don’t have to say anything, I’ll just - “

But you were cut off as Bucky’s lips crashed on yours. “You love me?” He questioned between kisses “How can you love me?”

“Shut up” was your only reply as you went back to kissing.

Bucky had pushed forward and cupped your neck to initiate the kiss, but now he dragged you back to his place on the couch, encouraging you to straddle his lap, one hand moving down to your upper back while the other moved up to clutch at your hair. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pushed your entire body against his, feeling every dip and hard line. You tilted your head to the side and encouraged him to deepen the kiss, which he did with a happy groan. Your hands frantically flew to his shirt and began tugging the material up. He lifted his arms in assistance, but only broke the kiss briefly to tug the fabric out of the way before returning to kiss your jawline. Kicking off your heels while you panted for breath, you continued your exploration of Bucky’s neck, arms, and chest with your fingers, earning shivers and small puffs of breath in between his kisses that were now trailing down your jaw to your neck. You moaned in appreciation of his quest and that moan was just enough to springboard Bucky into action. He grabbed the front of your blouse and ripped the fabric apart, sending buttons flying in all directions. His quest with his mouth continued downward as he gently tugged the straps of your bra down your shoulders and unsnapped the back hook with deft fingers, throwing the fabric to the side. Your little noises and whimpers only intensified as Bucky neared his destination. Using the cool fingers of his left hand, he gently massaged your right nipple, tugging and rubbing the bud into a pebbled peak. Meanwhile, his mouth continued its quest down to your left nipple, and he moaned with pleasure when he finally latched on, biting gently and sucking. Bucky Barnes was definitely a boob man. The contrast of the two temperatures was exhilarating. 

Your hips were beginning to develop a mind of their own and were mindlessly grinding against the fully hard cock you could feel in Bucky’s pants. You heard Bucky groan lowly in his throat, a sound almost like a growl running straight from your nipple to your core. A heat was beginning to coil in your lower body and you could feel tingles beginning to radiate from your core through your thighs. You were surprised to feel how close you were after such a short time.

“Bucky… Buck,” You panted, “I’m close, shit, baby…”

You finally gained a little control and yanked Bucky up by his hair and crashed your lips back together. While kissing, you climbed off his lap and tried to maintain lip contact as you encouraged him to stand.

“Bedroom,” You implored.

“Yeah,” He grunted against your lips as he grabbed your thighs and hoisted you up, encouraging you to wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you to the bedroom.

You continued your passionate kissing, bumping against a few doorframes on your blind quest to your bedroom. When you entered, Bucky tossed you onto the bed and began to strip, kicking off his boots, socks, pants, and boxer briefs efficiently. Watching the show in front of you, you quickly stripped your pants and panties down your legs, leaving you bare to his lust-filled gaze.

“Wanna taste every inch of you.” Bucky murmured as he dropped to his knees at the foot of the bed. He grabbed your ankles, dragging you closer to the edge of the bed and began placing delicate kisses up your leg, hooking your knees on his shoulders as he moved higher.

“Buck…” You moaned as he neared his intended destination, placing a single chaste kiss on your clit.

“Don’t deserve for you to love me,” Bucky whispered, lips never really leaving your skin. “But I’d die for you and I’d give anything to be good for you, to be worthy of you. Y/N, I - “

“Don’t,” you cut him off, unable to hear him tell you that he couldn’t love you. “Just come here.” You tried to pull him by his shoulders to your mouth.

“Not finished tasting you yet, doll” Bucky gave you a deprecating smirk and brought his metal fingers up to your throbbing core.

“Shit” You moaned, head falling back to the bed as he slowly pushed one finger inside.

Instantly, Bucky latched his lips back onto your clit as he began a steady pace, pushing his finger in and grinding it around your core before slowly almost completely withdrawing the digit to begin again. Groaning, your hands began a slow journey down your body, enjoying the slight sensation of your own fingertips on your sides before sliding into the silky strands of Bucky’s hair, pulling slightly. Bucky growled at the feeling and you mewled as the vibrations went straight through you again. The added sensations encouraged Bucky to add a second finger and he increased his pace, steadily pounding and flexing the fingers, seeking your sweet spot. You gasped as soon as he found it, and he doubled his efforts, encouraged by the increased tugging to his locks.

“Bucky, god, your mouth. So good, I’m close. Shit, shit, shit.” Your words trailed off into a meaningless chant of syllables as you neared your peak.

“That’s it baby, come for me.” Bucky drew off your clit briefly to mumble encouragements before attaching his lips with a newfound vigor.

“Shit!” You screamed as you found your release, thighs tightening around Bucky’s head as the coil in your belly snapped and your appendages trembled as the waves of pleasure rushed over you.

Bucky slowed his ministrations, using his fingers to spread some of the moisture from your core around your still spasming folds, slowing his mouth to gentle kitten licks before pulling off completely.

“Please baby,” Bucky begged, crawling up your body, “Need to have you.”

He pulled himself up onto the bed between your legs, his erection throbbing and red, curving up towards his belly.

You could only whimper in agreement, bringing your legs up to his waist, opening yourself up to him.

Bucky let out a single low moan as he breached your aching pussy and filled your center inch by inch until his hips came flush to yours. He paused for just a moment, lips hovering over yours, panting as he gained control.

“God,” he gasped as your muscles clenched around his length, “could stay here forever. Your tight pussy is heaven. So good doll.”

“Bucky,” you sighed as your muscles clenched again and your hips bucked. “Please,”

“That’s it” Bucky encouraged as he slowly began to withdraw from your wet warmth only to push back in at the same pace, “let me take care of you. Gonna make it so good, what you deserve.”

You wished you could argue that he was already so good, already perfect but your protests were cut off as his cock slid over that sweet spot inside you and you could only moan. You trailed your hands over his shoulders to clutch at his biceps as he increased his pace. As the temperature rose, Bucky’s verbal filter dropped away, as usual. While you were quiet in bed, with only moans and an occasional expletive breaking the silence, Bucky tended to keep up a running commentary throughout your endeavors. This time however, you found yourself listening a little closer to what he had to say.

“Shouldn’t feel this way,” he murmured, trailing his lips down your neck to your collarbone. “Don’t deserve it but god, to feel you this way, feel like you could be mine. Makes me - “

“ ‘M yours” you breathed unable to say much more as his pubic bone continued to rub against your clit on the outside and his cock hit your g-spot on the inside. “Yours Bucky, love you.”

Bucky breathed a sound halfway between a gasp and a sob. “Love me. God there you go again.” His thrusts gained force and became more erratic.

“Don’t have to say it back,” you managed, “won’t change how I feel if you don’t.”

Bucky’s groan was drawn out as his thrusts got even deeper with the force. “If I don’t love you? Y/N, how? Shit baby - “ He stopped speaking briefly as your walls clamped down with your impending orgasm, dropping down to nibble at your collarbone.

“Shit baby,” he started again, he brought his face back to yours as he looked in your eyes. “I don’t deserve it, shouldn’t but you gotta know. I love you, Y/N. ve’Known for a while.” His panting broke up his little speech but the words sent a tingle through your entire body.

“Bucky” you sobbed, the emotions and sensations becoming too much.

“Love you, love you, love you Y/N” Bucky crushed his lips against yours again as his hips stuttered and thrust in for a final time releasing deep within you.

Feeling him come was your final push and your back arched as you found your release, limbs trembling and the pleasure making you float away for a minute.

When you came back to yourself, Bucky had stilled, still buried deep within you, head buried in your shoulder and you realised his shoulders were shaking slightly.

“Bucky?” You questioned, alarmed, trying to push his shoulders up to see his face.

“I love you,” You heard him mumble into your skin. “I love you and I don’t deserve it. What you do for me, how you save me every day. Everything I’ve done? How could I deserve this. How can you love me?”

“You idiot,” You scoffed. Bucky’s head finally raised in surprise to look at your face. “If you can’t see how we make each other better, how we make each other deserve this, make each other deserve love then you are an idiot.” You smiled tentatively, your emotions all over the place. With a slight groan, Bucky slipped out of you and rolled to your side, but you quickly followed his roll and got on top of him, your bodies pressed against each other until you were nose to nose.

“I. Love. You.” You punctuated each word with a kiss to his lips. A smile ghosted over his features. “And if you love me? Well, I think that’s pretty perfect.”

“I do,” He said with such sincerity, your chest glowed with warmth. “Every day, I just love you more.”

“See?” You beamed, “Perfect. Everything else? This new trigger, your confidence, your self worth. We can figure that out together.”

Chuckling softly, Bucky drew you even closer, protecting your small frame in his strong arms. He finally began to relax and allowed a small part of himself to believe what you said. “As long as I have you, doll? That’s all I’ll ever need.”


End file.
